The mangina monologues: Comic relief

So with me recently picking up and playing that Wolverine game and the recent news of both Marvel vs Capcom 3 and the wonderful inclusion of everyone's favourite "Merc with a mouth" (...and friend to the Teen Titans - oh wait wha...) inside said game. I'm in the mood for mutant Canadians... amongst other things.
 
Anyways, with all the movies out celebrating the heroes of (admittedly, mostly Marvel) properties I figured that I should take some time out to think about them. Well, I should say that it is that now is Marvel's time to actually get good movies made. Let's use 2000's X-men as a benchmark for example's sake. Before that, good Superhero movies were few out of the many that tried. Can you name them?

I bet you thought of Christopher Reeve's Superman or Tim Burton's re-imagining of the Batman franchise (before it went down the Bat-shitter under Joel Schumacher), didn't you? Did you think of anything else? Maybe the Shadow? Captain America? The Phantom? Spawn? Steel? Nope. Did you fuck...

Before X-men we also had some middling entries like Blade which had Wesley Snipes playing that Vampire Hunter from Victorian London: Blade. Now, the first movie was arguably watchable but they certainly went downhill pretty quickly. Even the introduction of Dracula couldn't save that one. Granted, with all the hysteria around Vampires recently in the wake of the Twilight saga and all those tv shows about redneck nosferatu flying around, maybe they should try rebooting Blade.

It was X-men and the movies that followed it (Spiderman, Arguably Watchmen, Iron Man et al) that really brought Superheroes back into vogue. Now I'm not going to go out on a limb here and saying that everything they tried turned to gold. In my opinion they ruined Daredevil, the first attempt at the Incredible Hulk (by Ang Lee no less) and I would have much rather taken up Ben's proposal for a clobberin' time than sit through both of the Fantastic Four movies again. They ruined Doctor Doom for me. The worst? Catwoman. No doubt. It was even less entertaining than the screen adaptation of "From Hell" and made about as much sense as much sense as it would for Rorschach to suddenly embrace socialism. If you want Catwoman, watch Batman Returns - it is a mental movie but it's a good movie. When I watched Halle Berry's stunt double backflip through the recent Catwoman I was thinking to myself, "Well, I hope the Batman shows up and rund her over before my brain seeps through my ears". Though, she was ok as Ororo Munroe in the previously mentioned X-men films.

You may not like comic books, superheroes or shifting continuities but, let's face it kids - You have heard of the Batman. You know who Spiderman is and you could, given a few moments, name the original line-up of the X-men. These fictional worlds are ridiculously popular even with people who have never flicked through comic books. These heroes are capable of doing things that most people, regardless of their stance on sequential art, wish they could.

Come on... tell me you wouldn't want to be like Wolverine when you're in a particular situation. Granted, we wouldn't want to experience most of his life or the lives of most of his friends but dammit, we want to be able to regenerate huge portions of our anatomy while skewering fuckers to a wall... well, it sure beats accidentally killing someone by sleeping with them anyways, Shugar.

If anyone though, I'd have to say my favourite would be Marvel's Deadpool (Though there are many characters I enjoy almost as much). Sure, YOU probably never heard of him before but the way things are going, you soon will. He's up for the next X-men movie after playing a significant role in the last one. I'm not personally convinced that Mr. Ryan Renolds is the best way to go with the character as I really liked Nolan North's characterisation in the Hulk vs. Wolverine cartoon. For those of you who are up to speed with gaming, you'll know North as the go-to snarker in the industry, providing vocalisation for Uncharted's Nathan Drake and Assassin's Creed's Desmond Miles amongst others. I haven't heard him playing any other archetype though.

Deadpool is a parody. He (Wade Wilson) is a Marvel comics parody of Deathstroke (Slade Wilson) from the DC Universe.

For comparison, this is Deadpool the "Merc with a mouth":

Deadpool is a character that was relatively unknown until recently. He, like most hovers around the X-men and related comics - pairing up with Cable for a long stint and proving to be modestly popular. However, since the new milennium kicked off, we seem to have developed a taste for not only Superhero fiction once again but for Daddy Deadpool and his unique brand of... oh, to hell with it all! He's an anarchist. He's here, he knows more than everyone else and he damn well knows that he's in a comic book.

Whether he's wondering if he still thinks in those little yellow boxes, explaining the gameplay mechanics or beating someone to death with his own health bar (Confirmed as his super in Marvel vs Capcom 3) - he is doing it with style and he isn't going to let Weapon X get in his way.

Meanwhile, this is Deathstroke the Terminator:

Slade was one of the major villains for the Teen Titans and was successful enough to be duplicated into the character of Rose Wilson - his daughter - so that his awesomeness could continue into another generation. Ok, this guy plays it serious. So serious that he was an almost unrecognisable character when the insanely Japanophillic Toon Titans hit the Cartoon Network. Which was a shame because this guy and the Teen Titans could have been so much more ten years earlier with the Bruce Timms treatment like his fellow Gothamites received.

I'm not going to go into the Justice League cartoon...

So, I was saying that this guy is a badass? He makes the Joker look like a pussy - which is funny because Slade and the Clown Prince were the only members of DC's lineup to have their fatalities censored in the US version of Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe. Yep, you heard me. Censored in America... for the use of guns. Obviously, above are the uncensored ones from the European version... this is the guy that made Robin man up. This is the guy who will kill you in your sleep if the price is agreed.

...and before you ask, yes he is aware and no, you do not have to tell him.

I challenge you to not find that cool. Seriously. He's just standing there and admitting to ripping off someone who could kick the shit out of the Batman. His healing factor better not pack up.

...but what did Hollywood do to him? Motherfuckers... they sealed Deadpool's mouth? What the hell. They castrated him and turned him into a generic monster. I'm not going to comment anymore...

So yeah, comic books. Movies, related TV shows and stuff. They are culturally important and, while things don't always work out well, it's nice to know you can mesh art and text together and make it run for eighty years. Cinema has its acceptance, Comics are almost there and Video games, well... will be there when people actually realise what they have been missing stuck with what they know. 

What do you think about comic books and their spin-offs in other media? Who would you like to see in Marvel vs Capcom 3's roster from Marvel or Capcom?


I'd like Jill Valentine back...

Andy out.